Checkov's Thoughts
by Mustang69
Summary: Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov was devastated by Captain Kirk's supposed death on the Enterprise-B. After 30 years of service it is time to retire like most good Soldier's do. Or ... maybe, just maybe, he has a little more adventure left in him.


**TITLE: Chekov's Thoughts**

**Disclaimer: **Star Trek is the property of Paramount and was created by Gene Roddenberry. I just borrow the characters to honor his creative work.

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**Teaser**: Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov is devastated by Captain Kirk's supposed death on the Enterprise-B. Chekov thinks of retirement at age 48 like normal military folk.

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He sat alone on the bridge of the Enterprise-A. She was staged in the Fleet Reserve Yard near Neptune, held in place by tractor beam moorings. Five months ago the man he looked up to, and honestly idolized, all through his Starfleet career, Captain James T. Kirk, died so abruptly on the Enterprise-B. That loss, seeing a living legend just … go away like that, took the wind out of Chekov's emotional sails. He didn't have the heart for exploring anymore. The "wonder-team," as some people at the Academy called them, finally … finally … was no more.

With Captain Kirk gone, even Mr. Scott retired and headed off to some federation nursing home, as it were, on the Norpin Colony. Doctor McCoy went back to earth to take an assignment at Star Fleet Command and Mr. Spock was out being Mr. Spock. His friend, Captain Sulu, commanding the Excelsior offered Chekov a job as first officer but … somehow … it just did not seem fun anymore.

Chekov had volunteered to stay with the Enterprise-A as project commander under Reserve Fleet Operations in order to prep the old girl for mothballs. Although this was not HIS Enterprise, it was close enough. As he walked around the darkened bridge, taking note of all the equipment that had been removed and stripped from her as she prepared for the long sleep of a mothball ship in a graveyard, he noticed a telltale loose wire at the weapons station.

"Imbeciles," he muttered about the contract civilian crew that had help strip the ship of usable supplies and equipment. He knew the wire was to a pressure monitor designed to measure life-support on the bridge. Several areas of a reserve fleet ship had to maintain life support for inspection and boarding teams … the bridge, main engineering, and the hanger bay. The lose wire would have let the bridge depressurize in time.

As he opened up the access panel to reconnect the wire he was again reminded that this ship began her service under another name. One of the relay boards under the console was still stenciled _USS Yorktown._ Back after the "wonder-team" had saved the earth by finding whales in the 2000th century, the _Yorktown _was re-commissioned the _Enterprise-A_ and given to Kirk for one last gallop across the stars. Now, the old _Constitution-class_ starships were a thing of the past.

"Too old, too slow, underpowered for today's missions," they said back at Star Fleet Command. Pavel thought back to a time when these ships were the work-horses of the fleet. These were the "Heavy Cruisers" that made Klingons and Romulans stand back. "Now, they are scrap for the junk-yard," he whispered to himself.

He heard the turbo life door opened behind him. Finishing his small wire repair task Chekov stood to face whoever it was that dared interrupt his solitude. He was a little surprised to see Captain Sulu standing there.

"Pavel," Sulu said with a smile as he walked over to his old friend.

In classic Russian brogue, Chekov said, "Captain Sulu, w-what are you doing here?"

Sulu reached Chekov and embraced him in the hug of an old friend. Looking around the bridge for a moment, Sulu commented, "Man, we have some memories on this old girl."

"True, but nothing like the old _Enterprise_," Chekov said with a clearly fake smile on his face.

Sulu responded, "Chekov, I have known you too many years. What's troubling you friend? You are about to retire and start a new chapter of your life. That is why I am here. You didn't think I was going to miss the retirement of my best friend did you?" Sulu smiled in that warm sincere way that conveyed his genuine humanity. "I came to give you a ride back to Earth for the retirement ceremony."

"I-I don't know what I want. After all the years I have spent in space, I thought I would look forward to retiring … but I do not. I do not look forward to anything. I feel empty inside."

"Pavel," Sulu began, "you can pull the retirement and come work for me on the _Excelsior_. I still need that first officer here in a month or so. The person I have right now will be moving to his own command."

"Maybe … in time … right now I feel like I could not do justice to the ship, crew, to you." Chekov walked over and sat in the navigator's chair. "It just doesn't seem like 30 years have flown by like a flock of Russian geese."

"Pavel, you are only 48. You have given Star Fleet 30 years of your life counting the Academy. You have a decent retirement as a commander. You can have an entire second career ahead of you if you want. However, it is you who must choose what you want to do," Sulu explained. Resting his hand on the command chair, Sulu said, "Come on friend, your mission here is done. The old girl is packed up tight. Let's get you back to Earth."

"I know, I guess I stayed with her to the end because it reminded me of old times," Chekov said, standing up straight for a change and looking around the bridge one last time.

As he and Chekov walked to the turbo left, Sulu commented, "Well, you did have the distinction of, technically, being her last commanding officer."

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Several days had passed since the _Excelsior_ arrived in Earth orbit for a week of resupply and shore leave for the crew. Sulu had insisted that Chekov stay onboard, secretly hopeful that he would fall in love with the ship and want to stay.

Pavel had made several trips around the planet to see friends and visit family back in Russia. Although they knew his NAME (he and Spock and Kirk and the old team had become Federation heroes) nobody really remembered who HE was on the inside. How could they. He had been gone for so many years. Even his elderly father seemed distant when Pavel showed up on his doorstep.

After returning to the _Excelsior_ Pavel cleaned up in his cabin then went to the ship's lounge for a drink. Leaving the _Enterprise-A_ behind weighed heavy on Pavel's mind today. Today was his retirement day. In all his wildest dreams he had never imagined that the ride would be over so soon. All things sooner or later come to an end.

He got dressed in his uniform, beamed down from the _Excelsior_ and by 1340 hours he was standing outside in the courtyard of Star Fleet Command. A small group had already gathered for the retirement of one of the legendary crew of the _Enterprise_. Sometime in a person's life they reflect back and miss all the things that have rushed by but they never took the time to think about when those things happened. Today was one of those days for Pavel.

As he strolled around the courtyard he thought back to when this incredible journey first began. He recalled showing his father the acceptance letter from Star Fleet Academy. It was rare to get actual non-electronic mail even in those those days. The Academy still sent acceptance letters via hand delivery whenever possible. His father kept Pavel's acceptance letter in his small apartment in Leningrad.

As the sun hit his face through the afternoon cloud, he recalled meeting Irina Galliulin for the first time and how she captivated him, then seeing her again later on … being so stupid … following that maniac, Dr. Sevrin. Pavel wondered what ever happened to her. A man's life is often littered with the memories of lost loves and lost opportunities. He wished he could she Irina again as she use to be. He wondered if he had been a little more free-spirited, what their lives would have been like.

Pavel smiled as he remembered the time he met Harry Mudd on the planet with the robotic women. Although they were not real … oh the things they could do. The memory tempted Chekov. He wondered if a planet full of beautiful women to serve him would make for a worthwhile retirement location.

After being interrupted in his private thoughts by several well wishers gathering for his retirement ceremony Chekov's mind turned to less happier times … times when life and death were on the line. He recalled meeting Khan again. The incredible pain of the mind controlling creatures and what his eyes took in as Khan tortured the scientists on the space station. It was brutal, inhumane, … insane.

It was times like that and times like giving the self-destruct sequence for the Enterprise that Pavel realized … made him feel the most alive. He recalled being chased across the hanger deck of the aircraft carrier Enterprise and falling to the ground all in an attempt to get their temporary Klingon ship powered up to go home and save the Earth of the 23rd century. Those things gave his life meaning. It felt impossible that they could all be just memories of the past.

"Mr. Chekov, are you ready for retirement?" The voice was that of Rear Admiral Donnor, commander of Reserve Fleet Operations.

Chekov snapped to attention and turned to greet the Admiral. "Yes sir," he answered back. Thinking for a second as the Admiral looked him in the eye, Chekov spoke up again, Honestly sir, No, no I'm … not ready. I am haunted by … memories. What to … do."

"Please explain commander," the Admiral inquired.

"I don't like … feeling empty inside," he finally said. "I also don't feel right leaving Star Fleet."

"You know, the last time I ever spoke to Jim Kirk, he said that finding purpose made him feel young again." The Admiral said as he motioned for Chekov to follow him.

They walked over to a gathering crowd of onlookers and walked up on a small stage. Chekov had asked for no big event so the crowd only numbered about sixty. Chekov hand selected about twenty people a month earlier but people tell their friends and so on. Out in the crowd he saw Dr. McCoy who waved at him. He was standing next to Sulu and Uhura. Seeing his closest friends made him smile and feel less alone up there on the stage.

It was then he realized that maybe, just maybe, he had a little more in him left to give. Chekov thought of James T. Kirk when he muttered almost inaudibly, "In honor of you, Captain." With that Chekov turned to the Admiral and said, "Sir, I am ready."

Chekov stood there for the ten minutes the Admiral talked to the crowd of Chekov's thirty years of service and exploits that are part of required Academy readings. His thoughts were of his friends, his past, wondering of his future and what lay ahead for him after today.

In standard Federation ceremonial style, the Admiral (with retirement award and orders in hand), turned to Pavel and said, "Commander Chekov, I hereby present you with …"

"Sir," Pavel interrupted, "sir, I think we need to postpone this ceremony for awhile."

The Admiral looked a little confused, "Excuse me?"

"Sir, I cannot accept that award and retirement order." A retiree cannot serve as the First Officer of the _Excelsior_."

The End


End file.
